A Satisfied Christmas Carol
by omelettethemusical
Summary: In which Ebenezer Scrooge realizes three fundamental truths on the exact same night, and learns how to be satisfied. With apologies to Charles Dickens and Lin-Manuel Miranda.


**Bob Cratchit:** _All right, all right, that's what I'm talking about! Now everyone, give it up for my boss, Ebenezer Scrooge!_

 **Scrooge:**

A toast to new friends (to new friends, to new friends, to new friends)

To Yuletide (to Yuletide, to Yuletide)

From Ebenezer, who is always by your side

To the season (To the season, to the Christmas spirit!)

And the hope it may provide (may provide, may provide)

May you always (always) be satisfied.

(Rewind…)

 **Scrooge:**

I remember that night, I just might be blessed that night for the rest of my days

I remember those carolers as they stood at my door singing Jesus' praise

I remember that fade in my nephew's smile as I scorned Christmas season's loving grace

But Jacob Marley, I'll never forget the last time I saw your face

I have never been the same

That look in your eyes as your hands dragged your chains

Sent a chill down my spine, I forgot my own name

It betwixt my brain, thought I'd gone insane

This is not a game

 **Marley:** You strike me as a man who always closed his heart

 **Scrooge:** I'm sure I don't know what you are, but this isn't real

 **Marley:** You're like me, I always closed my heart

 **Scrooge:** Bah! Humbug

 **Marley:**

You always closed your heart

And this is the path that awaits you

A wandering, tormented shade

If you don't change your ways

Mankind is your business, Scrooge

So don't wallow in hate

It's not too late to change your fate

 **Scrooge:**

So so so - So this is what it feels like to snatch bits

Of a chance at redemption, what the hell is the catch?

It's the feeling of terror, of seeing the light

It's your own reflection in a mirror of fright - You see it, right?

The conversation lasted two minutes, maybe three minutes

Everything he said chilled me deeper and deeper

It's a dream, I tried to convince myself

But the truth he spoke I felt in my heart as well

He might be indigestion, I don't believe in phantoms

I asked him to prove himself, did you see his answer?

His jaw dropped to the floor, I fell into a trance

I hope he didn't see that I just shat in my pants.

Hopeless, and boy does he know it

Hopeless - and I finally show it

Marley leaves, 'cause he can't stay in one place

Then I turn and see the specters' faces, they are helpless

And I know they are helpless

And their eyes are just helpless

Then I'm visited by

Three Yuletide spirits on the exact same night

 **Christmas Past:** _I am the ghost of Christmas past._

 **Scrooge:** _Long past?_

 **Christmas Past:** _No. Your past._

 **Scrooge:**

Number one is the ghost of Christmas Past

He shows me a childhood that couldn't last

I was the only son, so I'm the one

Who had to social climb like one

But I let down Mr. Fezziwig

And my greediness cost me my fiancee

But just because she was penniless

Oh... that doesn't mean I loved her any less

 **Christmas Present:** _These are mankind's children, Ignorance and Want._

 **Scrooge:** _Have they no refuge?_

 **Christmas Present:** _Are there no prisons? Are there no workhouses?_

 **Scrooge:**

Number two is the ghost of Christmas Present

He shows me to the Cratchits, I'd

Be lying if I said that I didn't cry, that Tiny Tim might die

Then he takes me down to Fred's place, to meet his bride

Even though they're poor, they smile

Somehow they are satisfied

 **Scrooge:** _Spirit, are these the shadows of things that must be, or of things that might be only?_

(The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come points to a gravestone.)

 **Scrooge:**

Number three is the ghost of Christmas Yet to Come

Now I want to run, I wish the night would just be done

He takes me to my grave and shows me what I would become

My room a slum

Everyone thinks I'm scum, they're not wrong

But when it's morning light, I still see Marley's eyes

And then I realize what might have been

If he hadn't sized me up so quickly

So now I'll go help Bob and his wife

Because I have a new lease on life

000

To new friends! To Yuletide!

From Ebenezer, who is always by your side

To the season, and the hope it may provide

May you always be satisfied

And I pray

Thanks that my old ways are done

And I say

God bless us, every one

God bless us, every one.

* * *

A/N: I wrote this back in February but I wanted to publish it around Christmastime, so I've been sitting on it for almost a year. I'm really proud of it, so please review!


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